Author: gianna

This last Saturday evening, I joined my friends again @ Lights On…a program through St. Vincent De Paul that has become a weekly Be the Cause Compassion Cell. I have to say that I think this project clearly defines..the true meaning of a “compassion cell”=a project which spreads compassion and goodness into the world. At this last “Lights On” event, I was deeply grateful to Sonali for making this project become part of Be the Cause…and to Supun for driving that RV and serving on many Saturday nights and mornings in the last 2-3 weeks or more. I mentioned to Sonali that she and Supun are angels for making this happen…she brushed off the compliment like she does and turned around and complimented me somehow and other btcers. But I hope she knows…in this blog…how much it means to me, all of us ( especially to these people being released from jail at such an outrageously insane hour of the night/morning)….the impact that this weekly compassion cell brings to so many…and the difference that it is making…in all of our lives…even if you aren’t at a “Lights On” event…just know that you…on some level may be feeling the inspiration. Just think…without this RV and volunteers, people released from Santa Ana jail…greet the dark, and if they don’t have a cell phone in their pockets when arrested, they cannot call anyone to get a ride…thus, they may have to sleep outside and unfortunately, could be arrested again for either getting into trouble again somehow or for sleeping on the street. For some women, taxi cabs wait outside…and if they don’t have actual cash to pay the cab driver…the cab driver still expects a payment…but the payment expected is usually some sort of sexual favor(s).

What really got to me this time…was how grateful the newly released were…to see the stars again, and one girl was so looking forward to waking up and seeing the sun…which she hadn’t seen in over ninety days. These comments I heard reminded me of when I was working as a substitute teacher for a few weeks at an accountability program…at Youth Family Regional Center. This was a center for juveniles on probation. They had been incarcerated and the majority of the students wore anklets around their ankles that basically kept them hostage…they couldn’t leave their houses/apartments…past their front yards or the anklet (that was connected to a computer program) would alert probation officers and basically, the students could be arrested again. So when I substituted in front of this class…I basically had a captive audience…if they leaned back in their chair or looked the other way…the probation officers in the room with me were right there…and would say something to them right away…when the students ate lunch (in the classroom), they had to keep both hands on the table…if they had one hand under the table…it was seen as suspicious and they would get in trouble…once again for it.

So here I was…a slightly new sub…especially in this kind of classroom situation. I let the students watch movies, played trivia games with them, and taught them poetry. One day…I spoke to them about the beach…because they asked me what I did over the weekend…they specifically wanted to know if I did something fun. And my interpretation…was that they hadn’t had fun…even the most innocent fun that one can think of…in what felt like eons to them.

So one day I started to talk about the beach and how the water was such a clear blue and the waves were a perfect height, and all the sights and sounds one sees and hears when at the beach. And the moment I started to talk about this….I could see the missing..the sadness of these students…to walk in the sand, climb on rocks…be a kid again. Because in their minds and hearts…I don’t know if they felt they could ever relive…or do over what they thought they did so badly.

I noticed when I taught poetry to the group…the few girls in the class were into it, but I saw that the boys really were too. And I felt that there was some longing to remember beauty and flow and living in the moment…some of the ideals that poetry offers the reader and writer.

So the other night…at Lights On…I felt this remembrance…and felt grateful…sitting on a beach chair outside and watching the stars with some who may have felt at times that they would never see the stars again…